The Day the Wise One Impersonated Jenna
by TheNinthCircleofHell
Summary: The Wise One is up to his usual shenanigans, this time pretending to be a certain, red-haired girl. Why? To hit on Isaac, of course!


Creative title. "Exactly What It Says on the Tin" indeed.

I've been away from writing fics for far too long, but exams looming and everything, I've got things to do and study. Let's see... HSC English is in three days. Should I really be writing fanfics?

... eh. I'll just pretend it's practise for Creative Writing or something. I haven't had time to relax for ages. I need some sort of break.

And now I feel completely guiltless :3

_Major_ OOCness, if you didn't already guess from the summary.

Camelot owns Golden Sun.

* * *

**The Day the Wise One Impersonated Jenna**

Yawning, Jenna crawled out of her bed. Rubbing the remaining sleep from her eyes, she slithered out from under the covers and onto her comfortable, carpeted bedroom floor.

Except her bedroom floor seemed strangely hard. And cold. And rocky.

Opening an eye, Jenna lazily gazed about the cave, slowly realising something was amiss.

"... where the hell am I?"

* * *

"Now with this body, I can finally get Isaac to love me!" proclaimed the Wise One, running its new hands down Jenna's slim figure. It had copied her perfectly, down to the very clothes she had been wearing.

It had been planning this for days. Experimenting thoroughly with its powers to create a form just like Jenna's, finding the right place to dump the real girl; it had all been hard work.

_He won't be able to resist me now! He went on an around-the-world quest to save this girl._

As the Wise One began striding over to New Vale, it absently began thinking about the teen's dashing looks and beautiful golden locks.

The Wise One had always marvelled how Isaac always deeply cared those he loved, and how he would never give up, even in a hopeless situation. The teenager from Vale had first caught the Wise One's eye after valiantly agreeing to leave the town he had resided in for his entire life, proclaiming he would save Vale and the world. Slowly, the Wise One's interest in Isaac had transformed from admiration to fascination, and then from fascination to adoration.

Up until this point, the Wise One had been unsuccessful in its attempts to gain Isaac's attention. Throughout the entire lighthouse quest, it had been almost continually dropping Isaac subtle hints, mainly in the form of various treasure chests with valuable weapons and items, but had not once heard Isaac talk about it in an affectionate way. He was only ever concerned for Kyle or Jenna, or worried about his sick mother at home.

The Wise One had been so jealous that at one point, it had even mutated Isaac's father (along with Felix's parents, which it didn't really care about) into a freakish, three-headed monstrosity. However, that had only made Isaac hate it all the more.

This time would be different. Even though it would be a fake love, the Wise One had decided that a masquerade of love would be better than no love at all.

Before the Wise One knew it, it was standing in front of Isaac's cottage. Suddenly anxious, the Wise One shuffled its feet and took a deep breath. The human body, it realised, rather easily displayed nervousness. Already it could feel itself feeling awkward and gawky, arms held rather unnaturally straight down at either side, feeling incredibly out of place.

_Calm down. You've come this far already._

Steadying its nerves, the Wise One raised a hand and knocked on Isaac's door.

* * *

"I'll be there in a moment!" called Isaac, coming down from his room on the top floor. Dora was out, so it came to him to answer the door.

"Hey-! Jenna...?"

Upon opening the door, Isaac had discovered a very dishevelled Jenna standing before him. Her flame-red hair was pointing out in all directions and she was still wearing her pyjamas. It looked as if she had just rolled out of bed.

"Uh, are you alright...?" asked Isaac.

Awkwardly, Jenna picked at her clothing, facing downwards. Quietly, she muttered something under her breath, red-faced. Isaac was completely perplexed. What was going on?

"What was that? I couldn't hear you," Isaac inquired, learning closer to her.

Jenna's blush deepened before she almost shouted, "Isaac, I love you!"

With that, she furiously embraced the boy in front of her, knocking him to the floor.

"W-w-w-what?" spluttered Isaac, desperately trying to comprehend all that was happening. "Jenna, what are you say-"

Isaac was cut off as Jenna placed her lips over his own. He struggled, but Jenna countered by pushing her warm body against his. Through her thin pyjamas, Isaac felt her slender figure fit snugly onto his. His blushed as he felt two certain soft mounds press against his chest. With Isaac distracted by the sudden contact, Jenna deepened the kiss.

"JENNA. WHAT THE HELL."

A rare sight to see, a _furious_ Mia stormed down the stairs. The normally serene, blue-haired girl looked ready to murder. Striding up to the pair, Mia bodily pulled Jenna off Isaac with surprising strength and slapped her across the face.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

Desperately trying to look around Mia, Jenna cried out, "Isaac, I've always loved you! Please, let me be with you!"

Dumbfounded, Isaac simply gazed as the scene before him unfolded. Jenna struggled courageously against Mia, latching onto the doorframe in a hopeless attempt to remain in the house, but in the end was no match for Mia's absolute fury.

"GET OUT!" screeched Mia, tossing Jenna bodily outside before slamming the door, again displaying her perturbing strength.

Whirling around, Mia faced Isaac.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do," she hissed in a dangerous voice.

* * *

Dejected, the Wise One wandered through Vale aimlessly.

_Who would have though Isaac would have already been taken..? Who am I kidding, of course he would be. After all, he's so sweet, amazing, astonishing, satisfying..._ _gratifying... so relishable... if only I could just violate him up and down..._

Unaware of how creepy its inner monologue was starting to become, the Wise One heard a familiar voice calling out from behind it.

"Hey, Wise One!"

Shocked that somebody could recognise it, the Wise One spun around, coming face to face with Kraden.

"Nice body," Kraden grinned.

"How did you know it was me?"

Giving the Wise One a bemused look, he replied, "I'm Kraden. I know all. Duh."

"Oh."

"Also, because my character is filled with plot device, I know you need Isaac to break up with Mia," stated Kraden self-confidently. "Luckily for you, our interests coincide, so I'm willing to grant you my grand, sagely wisdom."

"I thought you were interested in Jenna," muttered the Wise One at the perverted old man.

"Oh, that." Kraden waved his hand dismissively. "I've decided that the horrific burning wasn't worth it. Frostbite's marginally easier to deal with."

"Uh huh... So I'm taking it that you've already been rejected by Mia," stated the Wise One, noticing several missing fingers on the hand Kraden had waved with. "What makes you think you can get her after she's broken up with Isaac?"

"Hey, just accept my help, okay? It's all a part of my plan. When Mia breaks up with Isaac, she's going to be dejected and alone," Kraden stated, meaningfully holding up one of his remaining fingers. "Dismayed at the loss of her love, she's going to head back to her room in the Vale inn, hoping to cry herself to sleep. HOWEVER, that's where she'll find me lying topless on her bed. She won't be able to resist."

Ignoring the Wise One's horrified look, Kraden continued onwards.

"And then I'm going to lay her down, and will go about making her my own by making sweet, passionate love until-"

"Please stop there," begged the Wise One, trying to rid itself of the mental imagery that was already taking place within its mind.

"So anyway, are you interested in breaking Mia and Isaac up?" asked Kraden, a mischievous grin growing across his wrinkled face.

Perhaps the Wise One may have felt a little remorse for Mia and Kraden's plans for her had she not tossed it from Isaac's house and had taken Isaac away, but the simple fact was she had. She deserved what was coming for her.

"I'm listening."

* * *

Mia climbed up towards the ruins of Mt. Aleph and Old Vale. She had received a letter that Ivan had something extremely important to discuss with her.

"Maybe other people have noticed how odd Jenna has been acting," Mia murmured to herself. She had calmed down since that morning, eventually believing Isaac's insistent defence that Jenna had suddenly jumped him out of the blue.

"Oh Isaac," murmured a loving voice.

Suddenly alert, Mia heard a familiar voice behind one of the trees to her left.

"Oh Jenna," replied an equally loving voice.

Anxiously, Mia crept up to the owners of the voices, suspicious.

"Oh Isaac," repeated the same loving voice.

Mia peered behind the tree and gasped.

"Oh Jenna," responded the second loving voice, pushing the limits of pointless repetition and mindless fluff.

What Mia saw was Isaac furiously making out with Jenna.

It was unmistakeably Isaac. Sure, his skin seemed incredibly wrinkly, he wore glasses and he seemed to have grown some sort of hunch, but she could not mistake that spiky golden, Cloud-esque hair anywhere else. Underneath him, back lying in the grass, was Jenna, still dressed in her pyjamas from earlier that day.

Horrified, Mia took a step backwards.

"How could you, Isaac? You told me there was nothing between the two of you!" cried Mia, tears already spilling out of her eyes. Turning her back on the pair, she dashed back towards Vale, ashamed that she had been so easily fooled by the very person she loved.

"Exactly how did she fall for that?" asked the Wise One, watching her run away dramatically.

"I am Kraden. I knew she would. That is all."

"Oh. Well, time to collect Isaac," grinned the Wise One, getting up. "He'll be heartbroken and will need someone to comfort him."

"Or..." cooed Kraden, pushing the Wise One back down onto the grass. "We could just continue making out, Jenna."

"Uh, Kraden? I'm not Jenna," reminded the Wise One, starting to get freaked out at the way Kraden was looking up and down its body.

"I am Kraden. I know all. You actually want to continue making out with me."

"NO I DON'T, YOU SCREWY OLD MAN!"

* * *

And so ended the escapades of a wily old pervert and a perverted, wily rock.

Things settled down in Vale after that. Sort of.

As predicted, Isaac ran crying into the arms of 'Jenna'. The two of them started a beautiful little family. All the kids looked like miniature Wise Ones with golden, Cloud-esque hair.

Isaac, being the fool he was, never realised that what he was married to was not Jenna, despite the majority of Vale repeatedly telling him.

Kraden's quest for Mia resulted in quite a large section of Vale to be coated in permafrost. Even today, the villagers that owned homes in the area still live there, but dress themselves quite warmly.

And, dear reader, are you wondering what happened to Jenna who was entombed within Mt. Aleph?

Well, after days of wandering the seemingly endless caves, she met Alex, who proclaimed his undying love for her. She refused, but had naturally changed her mind after he showed her his full pimped-out apartment he built within the mountain. They still happily live there, listening to their rap music and chilling in Alex's Jacuzzi.

LE FIN.

* * *

Holy crap. I finished this story in the same afternoon I started it, even if it is one of my crappier fics.

Even so, I'm proud of achieving normal, human writing speeds :D

The story ended up completely different from the way I intended it to be. Somehow during the story, the Wise One ended up becoming the 'nervous stalker' type rather than the aimlessly flirtatious type I originally aimed at.

... not that the Wise One should be either one of them.

It's still a really sudden ending, but at least I didn't end with Isaac screaming "YOUR FACE" to some poor character.

Anyway, review. If you loved it, tell me you loved it. If you hate it, tell me that as well. If you find any spelling/grammatical issues, tell me and I can fix 'em right up.

And for you people you feel rather indifferent, I haven't forgotten about you either! _Express _your apathy by clicking that little review button and simply typing in "Meh".

Also, anyone interested in chatting about Golden Sun or Golden Sun fics, or pretty much anything for that matter, visit the "Golden Sun Chat" Forum. All you need is an FF account. We won't bite, promise ;D

Just paste in this after the (.net/) section of the fanfiction website.

**forums/game/Golden_Sun/**

It's the first link~**  
**


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